asian boy white friends

"yeah, let's call the team the taliban. fuck it"

cue huge laughter, it was really funny

"yeah its alright call me afghan, and that there is my mate bin...short for bin laden"

i spent a lot of my youth spitting out lines like that and grinning as the chuckles started to sprout.

it feels good when you've got people who you think are laughing with you, no matter what you're laughing at

there's all sorts of variations. one evening i told my mates at uni that i was going out on an asian night out, and might have even referred to it as a paki night. and i went on the paki night and had a good time and then came back the morning after and got asked: how was your paki night?

and then one day in my house my mate started shouting up the stairs for something or other, something generic like calling me to come play football down the road and he called "paki?! paki?! paki?!?"

my uncle told me how people used to get on the bus when he first joined our company country and shout 'PAKI!' at him, and back in the days of the english Front Nationale there used to be graffiti shouting 'PAKI!' or 'PAKIS OUT!' in alleys and corners and tunnels. and people would shove human faeces through letter boxes where “pakis” lived.

and the weird thing is that to get angry about this kind of thing, in my exp, is to be considered a 'hot head' or a cunt, who isn't worth being mates with.

and this isn't only with regards to PAKI shouting, it applies to lots of areas of life: the economy, politics, the queen of england to name a few.

i was once on a night out and heard someone in our group riff on about how labour had fucked the country up and how we needed a serious age of austerity to knock a few rotten teeth outta place and put things back into shape. i got a bit angry and started hurling statistics and left wing economic rhetoric at him.

i explained to him that pre financial crash, labour had operated a maximum deficit of 3.4% and had actually run a surplus for the first few years. i then proceeded to fish out a swarm of statistics to prove that austerity has barely ever worked when used in the past, even to reduce debt 

(as less govt spending usually means there is less funding for productive activity in the economy, which means the government receives less tax revenue to pay off any debts it already has)

it all ended with me being blamed and laughed at for "bringing up statistics on a night out".

all this of people looking at the chair and not the food, and so failing to come to the conclusion that in the argument, i was fucking spot-on and the sweaty greasy tory cunt was fucking wrong.